The Butuan Aftermath

I have finally come to a place to write my last official blogpost about the trip to the Philippines. After a crazy trip home and me contracting an even crazier eye infection (not fun), some recovery - physically, emotionally, spiritually - I feel ready to write this last post.

As I shared consistently throughout the trip, I fell deeply in love with Butuan and the Philippines. Being in missions from birth, literally born on a YWAM base, I have experienced many trips, projects and people that I've been in contact with in my almost nineteen years of life. Each time I loved fully and a piece of my heart was given, as I choose to live wholeheartedly in the spirit. This often means your heart breaks and it hurts often, but that is a worthy sacrifice when then given an opportunity to love! 

That being said to add some context, I have never ever experienced as deep a love as I have when I was in Butuan. It was unreal! The two weeks consumed me fully with love and passion, and then the pain that followed in leaving hurt far deeper than normally. My heart broke when I left, and I will long to return until I eventually do return. I was in no way ready to go back to Frankfurt, even though I have nearly always spoken positively about it and do in many ways love it and have made it my new home. 

The last few days already caused my heart to begin to crack, and I cried on each of those days before heading back to Germany. Though Sunday was a day of wonderful celebrations! We celebrated the 3rd anniversary of Kingdom Life Butuan, and a bountiful harvest. The work put into this event was just astounding once again. How many volunteers came together to work on this event, and just how beautifully it all came to be. The beautiful fruits are already seen when it comes to Kingdom Life Butuan!

Everything done by the team and congregation was clearly blessed and anointed, I just know so many lives were touched by all the work of joyful hearts that went into these items all together.

We were also able to celebrate the talent of Yrah Lee with many of KLB family even after the long event. She was fantastic! The Regalas are truly bless and annointed, and I'm so glad to have met them. I also incredibly enjoyed the time we had with them and some other close people on the last day, going to Britannia Islands.

Though those few days were filled with great joy, I could still feel my heart break each more. I cried during each goodbye, and I cried so much that the one air hostess even asked me if I'm okay and needed anything (Jesus thank you for kind people). It was one of the most difficult goodbyes I've ever had. 

Now after a few days of (forced due to eye infection) rest, I have done a lot more processing of everything. My heart still breaks at not being in the Philippines right now, but I am also truly choosing to be positive about my home in Frankfurt and the incredible opportunities I have there - because there is so much to be grateful for. 

My unique upbringing again blessed me in allowing my heart to have many homes, and I'm glad that Butuan is now one of those homes. I cannot wait to return!

No Longer Slaves

The words we speak have power over our life, and worship is powerful form of declaring God's promises over our lives. There is power in declaring the greatness of our Saviour over our us. 

Yesterday this was seen as we worshipped with prisoners in a jail yesterday. That experience will be right up there with the most surreal I've ever had. The power of being unified singing "No Longer Slaves." My heart broke as God showed me the love He has for them. To look past the problems and the "surface" level coverings that everyone will see at first glance, and see their hearts. Wondering what could've lead them to make those choices, and how perhaps that could've been prevented. But despite what those choices lead to, God can always restore and refresh them.

As we spent that morning preparing all the packages for the prison, I started praying for the day ahead. I knew that going to the prison would probably be the part of the trip that would stretch me the most.

The way they worshipped was beyond powerful, the freedom that was declared. They may have been in a physical prison, but they had freedom in the spiritual realm. They had been set free by Jesus.

I cried there, cried as we left to the car, and cried on the car trip back. Because the Father's touch is powerful and gentle at once, and it was like a tidal wave that had crashed over me.

Again I enjoyed spending time with Pastora Roszel and Yrah Lee, getting pampered at the salon and sharing a meal (though we quickly realised Pastora Roszel's watch was incorrect, and we had to rush to the church).

I shared the difficult part of my testimony on a public platform for the first time during the prayer meeting at Kingdom Life Butuan. How at fourteen I had been violated, and how that crumbled me some to such a low worth and self-image and lead to my anxiety, hospitalisation, and three year process of feeling truly worthy of love and purpose again. How I could at the end of last year call my mom and just cry, because I finally found completely happy and at peace again.

I knew that it was important to share it, even though it was difficult, because I know there are sadly many girls, women, and people who have gone through a similar thing to me. That I could at least understand to a small degree, and the spirit guides me to empathise with the rest.

It was testimony to me how I've truly come, that I felt able to share my story without feeling ashamed and dirty. I know that I'm worthy and pure. That I'm worthy of love. I pray that Jesus will show this to me everyday, because it isn't out of my own. There is no way I could do it in my own strength. Some days are also harder than others, and some days the anxiety is so strong and real again that I feel I could barely get out of bed. But my God is stronger, He turns my test into a testimony.

There is no way that I could ever look back on my story and not see God pulling the thread all the way through and bringing it all together. He is still healing me and will use me to show others that He can do the same for them.

A Day of Rest and Reflection

A day of reflection came on our Monday. We were all given the opportunity to rest, but Andreas still chose to share his incredible testimony at 5:30am on radio. What a powerful testimony it was! 

I personally was going with Pastor Roszel to go have my hair done, because it's super cheap here, but also to bound with the wonderful woman of God that she is. Unfortunately at that point it didn't work out to do my hair, but I was blessed with the opportunity to be able to spend time with Pastor Roszel, and later Dani Mae too. As a child of ministry we were able to connect on many things, even so early in our relationship we are able to understand each other without even audibly communicating at points. The coffee and food was delicious, but I enjoyed the fellowship far more.

After us three quickly popped over to the market to pick up more fruit for me, and then joined up with the others to have some bonding with the Regalas.

The sightseeing afternoon ended with the tastiest meal at their home, and the day off was well needed and enjoyed. The whole KLF team rested well that night.

Yesterday was also a day of reflection for me. This last month before coming to the Philippines personally has been really difficult for me, and I've felt really exhausted and tested. I prayed that God would refresh my perspective on what I'm doing with my life, to show me the purpose of what I do in my everyday life, and then to show what should be removed when it is taking away from that. 

God has been faithful, and He reminds of His truths each day. He again reminded me of how Pastor Richard Maybery and I were going to travel to India together in the November after I turned 16, and how we had prepared for it for years. I was reminded by how broken I was that I would never have the experience with him after he passed away. God told me then that He would be faithful. 

I smile now at 18, being led to the Philippines by another Pastor Richard M., knowing that God has kept His promises. That all that laid (and lays) heavily on my heart will be released by my Father who cares for me.

Bountiful Blessings in Butuan

During this week I was astounded by all the impactful experiences I was having each day, how each day was filled with missions work and being His hands and feet. At some point we asked Pastor Roszel about the program they had put together for us while in the Philippines, only to realise that this is how they actually live their everyday lives. That we get to come along and live what they live each week. If that doesn't put things into perspective, I'm not sure what else will. That we get to come here for two weeks and join during our missions trips, but they are living their missions calling each and every day of their lives. Whoa.

Now I'm an avid believer that your everyday experience is your mission field, and that Jesus can equip you to be a "missionary" still in a sense with each simple task you complete. But I must say nothing really leaves me quite as alive as I am when I am living the missions like I'm living now. It would give me great pleasure to serve like this constantly, but I also know that my studies and getting my degrees is incredibly important to me to have the papers and qualifications to fully reach and impact the lives of the people I want to work with. Yes, God equips us, but I want to be able to study and know all the laws and ways to fully know and be able to help. To have those qualifications to be able to have the open doors and opportunities to do more. I hope that one I have them I would even be able to be able to be employed to do therapeutic trips for my music therapy - God can make a way! 

A few of the girls who I've formed a with will constantly ask me to please stay in the Philippines, or at least promise to come back. I'm careful not to make promises that I may not be able to keep, but I do tell them that I would love to come back. They even added they would try find me a husband if it would mean I could stay. All you can really do is smile. Though a dream is that one day I will be joined to someone who shares this heart like I do, because I don't think I could live with someone who didn't. Who couldn't give me the space to live my calling.

Yesterday was filled with absolutely  anointed church services. From the house church where Aris shared, and from being given the blessing for me to preach in the Butuan main church, to a service dedicated just to the kids, and ending with the best youth service I've probably had in my life. 

I could probably write pages about each of those services and how anointed they were. God's presence is so incredibly powerful and taken up by all their hungry hearts. I am feeling Him on such a raw and deep level, and I cannot get enough of it. 

The day was bountiful with blessing, and I cannot begin to express my gratitude.

Mother of Nations

When I was ten years old I was prophesied over according to my name. Not only about it's meaning, God is my teacher, but also how like Abraham who travelled to the land of Moriah I would be a mother of nations. A rather intense word for a ten year old to receive and I didn't really know what to do with it.

For some reason I hadn't been reminded of it until I was preparing for Sunday's preach again yesterday. That what I'm doing right now is part of fulfilling the promises God had given me, and how humbling it's been. I feel deeply connected to myself at this point because I know I'm busy living what God called me today.

Yesterday's full day started with home visits. I love how Kingdom Life Butuan serves its community and church, and how they truly are an example of kingdom living. From prayers to prophecies being spoken over it's members, I strongly felt Jesus guide all the wonders that happened. Alongside Him reaffirming the passions and desires of my hearts. I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to be planting seeds for the kingdom of God. 

I mention often that I live and love deeply. It's easy for me to fall in love with a country - it's culture, ways, and people - in a heartbeat! I also truly mean it. God has given me a deep ability to love and i wish nothing but to continue to live that out.

That love and word spoken over me came into full play when we worked with the street kids, leading them again with ministry. They broke my heart as they asked me never to forget them and to please stay, and honestly I wish I could stay in many ways and I know I would never forget them. How could I? They now have a piece of my heart that I would never be able to return.

This day ended with fellowship with wonderful leaders of the church who too have my heart. I cannot help but repeat how much I am in love with the Philippines, because I truly am, and I'm continually given reasons to fall deeper. Including a massage that converts to only 5€! The overflow is truly here in the Philippines (haha). 

Honestly, I will probably hurt when I have to go home, even though I love Frankfurt too. But I already know at some point I will have to find my way back to Butuan.

The Overflow

I have thought that I could possibly make a good missionary, because in many ways I am simple to please and there aren't too many have must-have-requirements to live in a certain place (obviously besides the fact that God would have called you and stirred you to do so). For me one of these things that would be a "must-have" is access to good coffee or a good coffee location, which is one of the first things I asked when heading towards the Philippines. My request has been satisfied by a quaint coffee shops called "Bo's Coffee" and this where I will probably start most of my days on this trip after breakfast. 

Yesterday morning, our first full day in Butuan, we left caffeinated and excited for the day ahead. We travelled with the team do different home visits yesterday and to bless and pray for those who we met. However I left each home feeling blessed and touched by the anointing that was in those homes, and by how freely people give. It's always humbling to see how people give so freely even when they have nothing, and what a loving gesture that is. 

One home visit in particular touched and broke my heart at the same moment. A little girl at one of the homes came over to me when I asked if she'd like to sit to me, and then I offered a hug (because they should always give consent). She took it and just held on. For the duration of that visit we just sat in an embrace. She completely relaxed in my arms and at  a particular moment turned to me and said "I love you." My heart melted and the love of my own for her and the love of Jesus for her just overflowed.

After lunch we headed to this market where we had the best mangoes and avocados, and more! Christina and I weee particularly overjoyed.

With happy spirits we headed to an orphanage where KLB serves each Friday. Again, I was amazed by willing and eager the children were to partake in what we had to offer. The children there were also so wanting affection and love. We soon realised it was one of the boys there had his birthday on that day, and when he was prayed for he cried - because it was the first time anyone had ever celebrated his birthday. Me being me, I cried. I cried and my heart again was filled with love.

The night closed with home groups and fellowship, and then a meal at Captain Shrimp with the Regalas. 

A full day, but by no means left empty thereafter. 

Apostolic Ministry

Yesterday the day began very early indeed! I was invited to speak from 6am - 7am at a local radio station that reaches the entire Philippines. I spoke about the reality of the Kingdom of God and shared the Good News with the people of the Philippines. It was a challenge to basically speak for 60 minutes with only a few breaks but it was an amazing opportunity to proclaim the truth to the nations!

After a short breakfast we made our way to KLB's Sunday meeting. The room was filled with people and there was a real buzz. The worship team had clearly taken hold of the principles we taught them the day before and very soon we were entering the presence of God. It was wonderful to witness how these young worshippers have taken hold of the essence and are now running with it. Frances shared a powerful message on the call of God and how noone is disqualified. It was a joy to be part of this dynamic new church family and we are excited to see how God will continue to bless and work through KLB to transform Butuan. One visiting lady said it was wonderful to experience the presence of God like that again after so many years.

We then had a scrumptious lunch together (with avocado shake, calamari, kinilaw, stir-fried beef, aubergine) and then made our way to pastor Berwyn's church in Cabadbaran - Mabini Christian Fellowship, where I shared on Proverbs 16:15 about the favour of God. It was very special to see the many children again and to see how they have grown and matured. After the service we made our way back to Butuan and stopped for some fresh Durian on the way. Durian is very smelly but tastes amazing. In the evening we had our "Abschluss" dinner with Berwyn, Julius, Roszel and Jasfer (an amazingly talented young drummer). It was a long day and after rolling home from Robinson's (the new shopping mall) to Dotties hotel, because of all the food we had, we hit the sack and were out for the count.

This morning we had to pack and check out of our hotel and enjoyed our last coffee with Julius, Roszel, Jasfer, Yrah Lee and Jonkris. Berwyn and Liberty and the kids then joined us and we made our way to the airport where they saw us off.

We have arrived safely in Manila and enjoyed checking out the Mall of Asia. Tomorrow we will spend time with our good friend, Mark who was part of KLF for a  year when he was in Frankfurt. Mark does sign language for the deaf and tomorrow we will visit his school where I will be ministering to some deaf students. We will probably be visiting Mark's family in the evening. Our return flight via Hong Kong is on Wednesday evening.

It has been an amazing 10 days here in the Philippines. I praise God for the wonderful things we were privileged to witness as He touched the lives of so many people. We really feel that we were able to fulfill the apostolic ministry of teaching, imparting, equipping, training and helping KLB to create Kingdom culture as they remain uncompromising in essence but flexible in form. We give God all the glory for the wonderful things He is doing and will do! We are looking forward to visiting next year again, hopefully with a small team.

Ordination of Pastor Julius

On Sunday (4 May 2014) pastors Richard and Frances Morschel, together with bishop Sony Okpekpe,ordained Julius Regala as pastor of Kingdom Life Butuan. You can listen to the ordination here.