Through the Eyes of a Child

Saturday // For whatever reason, I found it really difficult for the first time to fully experience God's presence. I just couldn't get into the space that I'd been getting into the previous days, where it felt like I'd get lost in another realm when experiencing the love of Jesus, and it took me a while usually to adjust back to reality. But then, I struggled and I felt a heaviness.

At some point during the morning service, this beautiful little boy came up to me and just laid his hands on my legs. He held my hands during worship and just cuddled up to me, looking up at me and repeating the word "Gwapa" (which means beautiful), over and over again. This interaction melted my heart, and God showed me the awe He has for me and His children. 

I spontaneously decided to join the kids program as Aris shared in the main service, and then the Spirit led me to teach them songs and lead the lesson, though this just felt like a normal and natural thing to do. Only later did I realise the impact it may have had. At the end of the service the children sang the "I am special" song I taught them. I realised again they blessing it is that Jesus would use me to show the worth they have, that they belong to Him. My heaviness was realised and I felt a gentle touch of Him.

Thereafter we shared an incredibly delicious meal with Pastor Berwyn and his family, and I enjoyed how we all had the opportunity to share hearts with each other. Liberty, Pastor Berwyn's wife, prepared some sweet things we reminded me of treats I would have back in Cape Town. Oh, this trip has really made me feel at home but made me feel homesick all at the same time.

One of my favourite parts of the trip was going to Ambago to work with the kids. They made it home for me in many ways, and there "don't forget me" comments hit my heart in every direction. All I wanted was to stay with them. I love them.

God showed me His love and was faithful on a day that I felt I couldn't feel Him. His love never fails.

The evening ended with some preparations for the KLB anniversary, and I just enjoyed every moment with the wonderful people I've built meaningful relationships and friendships with. They have my heart and how I wish I wouldn't to always be so far from them. My heart now has another home.

My Unique Upbringing

I found myself yesterday continuing to reflect on the blessing I've had, and how I was fully equipped by how I was raised. Naturally I could never ignore my convictions, that what breaks my heart could never be ignored, because how I saw my parents go after that. I could never sit back and do nothing, because I have a knowledge of the need of the world. My heart breaks and therefore I must do. 

But what I'm learning more about myself in this time is that my pastoral heart and my heart for preaching had fully been encouraged too by the leadership of Pastor Richard Maybery. The way he called out my purpose in me before I could even see it. We had plans to go to India together and he always told me he was training me to be his next pastor, though at that time I just thought it was funny. From a very young age he challenged me with theology and books that most six year olds probably never would have access to it, but he would sit and explain it to me until I understood. He believed in me before I saw what he believed.

I remember the crushing feeling of knowing I'd never have that trip with him, that my whole childhood of training with him felt like it had gone to waste. I wish he could see me now. I hope he would be proud to see me preaching and doing what he encouraged to me to do what he does in the Philippines. 

Going to the tribal churches and having the opportunity to preach and meet the people, I can preach and lead from my heart as if I'd been doing it my whole life, because of my unique upbringing. I'm continue to be grateful. 

Christina also was able to preach yesterday at one of the churches, and we were both blessed by the openness of the members. Their hearts and ways.

My day, with Andreas, ended with a challenged of trying Bulat with some of my KLB friends after a Facebook comment thread. I'm always willing to try something because I want to fully explore the culture, but yesterday was really a sacrifice. A sacrifice was worth it though to continue building the wonderful friendships I've made. 

A Day of Rest and Reflection

A day of reflection came on our Monday. We were all given the opportunity to rest, but Andreas still chose to share his incredible testimony at 5:30am on radio. What a powerful testimony it was! 

I personally was going with Pastor Roszel to go have my hair done, because it's super cheap here, but also to bound with the wonderful woman of God that she is. Unfortunately at that point it didn't work out to do my hair, but I was blessed with the opportunity to be able to spend time with Pastor Roszel, and later Dani Mae too. As a child of ministry we were able to connect on many things, even so early in our relationship we are able to understand each other without even audibly communicating at points. The coffee and food was delicious, but I enjoyed the fellowship far more.

After us three quickly popped over to the market to pick up more fruit for me, and then joined up with the others to have some bonding with the Regalas.

The sightseeing afternoon ended with the tastiest meal at their home, and the day off was well needed and enjoyed. The whole KLF team rested well that night.

Yesterday was also a day of reflection for me. This last month before coming to the Philippines personally has been really difficult for me, and I've felt really exhausted and tested. I prayed that God would refresh my perspective on what I'm doing with my life, to show me the purpose of what I do in my everyday life, and then to show what should be removed when it is taking away from that. 

God has been faithful, and He reminds of His truths each day. He again reminded me of how Pastor Richard Maybery and I were going to travel to India together in the November after I turned 16, and how we had prepared for it for years. I was reminded by how broken I was that I would never have the experience with him after he passed away. God told me then that He would be faithful. 

I smile now at 18, being led to the Philippines by another Pastor Richard M., knowing that God has kept His promises. That all that laid (and lays) heavily on my heart will be released by my Father who cares for me.

Mother of Nations

When I was ten years old I was prophesied over according to my name. Not only about it's meaning, God is my teacher, but also how like Abraham who travelled to the land of Moriah I would be a mother of nations. A rather intense word for a ten year old to receive and I didn't really know what to do with it.

For some reason I hadn't been reminded of it until I was preparing for Sunday's preach again yesterday. That what I'm doing right now is part of fulfilling the promises God had given me, and how humbling it's been. I feel deeply connected to myself at this point because I know I'm busy living what God called me today.

Yesterday's full day started with home visits. I love how Kingdom Life Butuan serves its community and church, and how they truly are an example of kingdom living. From prayers to prophecies being spoken over it's members, I strongly felt Jesus guide all the wonders that happened. Alongside Him reaffirming the passions and desires of my hearts. I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to be planting seeds for the kingdom of God. 

I mention often that I live and love deeply. It's easy for me to fall in love with a country - it's culture, ways, and people - in a heartbeat! I also truly mean it. God has given me a deep ability to love and i wish nothing but to continue to live that out.

That love and word spoken over me came into full play when we worked with the street kids, leading them again with ministry. They broke my heart as they asked me never to forget them and to please stay, and honestly I wish I could stay in many ways and I know I would never forget them. How could I? They now have a piece of my heart that I would never be able to return.

This day ended with fellowship with wonderful leaders of the church who too have my heart. I cannot help but repeat how much I am in love with the Philippines, because I truly am, and I'm continually given reasons to fall deeper. Including a massage that converts to only 5€! The overflow is truly here in the Philippines (haha). 

Honestly, I will probably hurt when I have to go home, even though I love Frankfurt too. But I already know at some point I will have to find my way back to Butuan.

Raising the Next Generation

After a good night's rest and a few souvenirs from some Philippine mosquitoes, we had our breakfast (of course including my traditional morning mangoes) and then made our way to Bo's where we collected our cup-of-cinos and where we had arranged to be picked up by Berwyn. In the morning we spent time with the core leadership group. Once again Frances and I spoke about essence and form so that the leaders understand that our purpose in planting Kingdom Life Butuan is not to form a copy of how we do things in Frankfurt but that they understand why we do what we do so that they have the freedom to have their own expression of Kingdom values and the essence of Kingdom living. Frances and I showed them how we need to live from the reality of the Kingdom to bring heaven on earth. They are a very young group of people who are hungry for God and excited to be part of what God is doing through KLF and now through KLB.

After a quick lunch we did some admin stuff and then made our way to one of the areas where KLB ministers to the street children. The place where the children meet is in one of the homes of one of the members a little further out from Butuan in a slightly remote area where there are no other churches or organisations looking after the children's needs apart from KLB now. As we arrived we saw a heap of flip flops (sandals) that fitted some very tiny feet, gathered at the entrance of a wooden-paneled house. Inside were over 30 children seated on the floor as some of the KLB leaders sang songs with them. I was asked to share a message with them. On the way to the gathering, I had asked the Holy Spirit what to share and then He gave me the idea to share the truth of God's love using a banana. Needless to say the kids and I had a lot of fun as I explained to them that God loves bananas and that He is more concerned about what is inside us than what the skin looks like! After the message, the kids each received a lunch box with fried noodles and bread in it. They were delighted and everyone tucked in with joy. It is really moving to see how people who live in such humble conditions open their homes for the benefit of the poor and needy. There is such love and kindness released through their generosity that reveals the heart of the Father and the nature of the Kingdom.

After our time with the children we headed back to KLB where I was asked to share a word with the KLB youth group. We looked at what it means to receive fullness of life in Christ how God has created everyone of them uniquely for His pleasure and purposes. After the meeting we were brought back to the hotel so we could get an early night because tomorrow morning I have a radio broadcast at the heavenly hour of 6:00am and that without my cup-of-cino! "Gooooood morning Butuaaaaaan!"
No cockroaches sighted today...

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3

 

Let the little children...

Today I spent the morning with Pastor Berwyn, encouraging him and equipping him by giving him spiritual revelation and Kingdom principles - tools to work with to continue to build when I leave again. We then traveled to Mabini and had lunch at Berwyn's brother-in-law's home where he was celebrating his birthday with family and friends. We had a traditional roast pig and lots of sea food and I got to meet some more of the people in the community.

At 2pm we were supposed to begin the church service but Berwyn explained that in the Philippines it is common for people to come over an hour late. So the meeting "began" at 2pm with a room full of children on plastic chairs waiting for some action. There were about 30 little ones present so I began to play with them and very quickly had their complete attention. I then told them the story of Lazarus with all the actions I could think of as well as the story of Peter throwing the net on the other side of the boat and catching many fish. I was amazed! I had the children's attention for over an hour and was able to communicate that Jesus gives life and that when we depend on ourselves we will only catch one fish but when we depend on Jesus, we will catch a whole net full. It was a wonderful and most thrilling experience as well as a lot of fun and laughter!

At around 3pm the adults began filtering in and after a time of worship in song I preached and ministered to these precious people for over 2 hours. The Lord was present and the Holy Spirit touched the lives of those who came forward to receive from God. One man gave his life to the Lord and I prophesied over almost everyone, revealing God's compassion and love for these poor and broken people. The Lord affirmed and declared His abundant love to them and they were deeply touched and encouraged.

I praise God for His faithfulness and outpouring of love.

Tomorrow I will be ministering at another church and I am looking forward to what God will do!